Off to the Land of Enchantment for a couple of weeks. See you after the first of the year!

Policy Update: Changes to FMLA

A few weeks ago, I noted that the federal government made significant changes to the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). The amendments are primarily to provide additional benefits for those families who have a member in the Armed Forces. The first amendment provides for unpaid leave of up to 26 weeks for a:

spouse, son, daughter, parent, or next of kin” to care for a “member of the Armed Forces, including a member of the National Guard or Reserves, who is undergoing medical treatment, recuperation, or therapy, is otherwise in outpatient status, or is otherwise on the temporary disability retired list, for a serious injury or illness.

The second amendment provides that employees may take FMLA leave for:

“any qualifying exigency” arising out of the fact that the spouse, or a son, daughter, or parent of the employee is on active duty (or has been notified of an impending call or order to active duty) in the Armed Forces in support of a contingency operation.

Qualified exigency, as clarified in the changes includes: short-notice deployment, military events and related activities, childcare and school activities, financial and legal arrangements, counseling, rest and recuperation, post-deployment activities, and additional activities that arise out of the covered military member's active duty.

While I am 100% supportive of new policies that support military families (many of my extended relatives were in the military at some point), I can't help but wonder why other amendments have gone unnoticed and unsupported. For example, 12 weeks of unpaid leave does not assist with all the additional costs associated with a new baby, (i.e., car seats and medical bills). Nor does FMLA take into account the developmental needs of a child. The underlying philosophy is to offer just enough time off to get women ready to go back into the workforce.

Wednesday's Parenting Corner: Children and Consumerism

The holidays have become the antithesis of consumerism. Children in department and toy stores sing in the aisles, "I want that. Can't I have another toy? Mom, all my friends have this toy." The Media Awareness Network notes that:

Parents should be concerned about the effect excessive materialism can have on the development of their children's self image and values. In her 1997 book on modern family life, The Shelter of Each Other, author Mary Pipher worries that our consumer-saturated culture may be breeding feelings of "narcissism, entitlement and dissatisfaction" in today's kids.

Global Issues notes that children have become an important market segment. From tweens who buy Hannah Montana products to the commercials during Saturday morning cartoons, celebrating the latest action figure or video game or sexualized doll, our children have become a target for advertisers. Take, for example, these stats:

1. Children are a captive audience: The average American child watches an estimate between 25,000 to 40,000 television commercials per year. In the UK, it is about 10,000
2. $15-17 billion is spent by companies advertising to children in the US
3. The marketing seems to be worth it. For example,
   • Teens in the US spend around $160 billion a year
   • Children (up to 11) spend around $18 billion a year
   • “Tweens” (8-12 year olds) “heavily influence” more than $30 billion in other spending by parents, and “80 percent of all global brands now deploy a ‘tween strategy.’”
   • Children (under 12) and teens influence parental purchases totaling over $130-670 billion a year.

What I fear most as a new parent with a young child are the lessons that we as a society are teaching children. Christmas has become about what we receive and not what we give. A few years ago, my fear was realized when my niece began counting the presents under the Xmas tree only to discover that her cousin had more presents. Where are the lessons about giving, sharing, family, etc.? Are they all really lost in the mountain of toys, wrapping paper, and piles of credit card debt?

My question for the readers is how do I begin to change my families traditions of my family to change the message of Xmas to reflect the values associated with gift giving and celebrating family?

Mood Swings and Writing

I posted some months ago about my embarrassing moment with the breast pump shield. Just think back to the image of a pump shield rolling down the middle of a carpeted office floor seeming to reach with invisible hands for the foot of my male department chair. Ugh, my face just blushes thinking about it! Because I tired of carrying the pump and the extra 15 pounds that still has a tight grasp on my body frame and because I don't want to carry the pump across country again, I decided to start the weaning process. The process has gone very well with limited pain. Every three to four days, I skip one of the pumping sessions.

BUT

I realized today that I am just feeling "off" and that I have had this feeling for about 10 days. My moods are morose and somewhat unpredictable and I can't seem to focus on all my student papers, not to mention that articles that I promised I would finish before break. When the reason hit me, I started to google, confirming my suspicions -- weaning causes hormonal changes. Dang it!!! So much for the writing.

Here are a few resources to help those who also go through the weaning process:

Depression and weaning
Post Partum and weaning
Tips on weaning

Mack Monday: Superhero

Five on Friday

5. A great article in the NY Times argues that the correct metaphor for today's career trajectories are career lattices and not career ladders. Given that many academic parents are seeking alternative faculty career tracks, we may have a lattice.
4. I learned this week that having a photo of my kid in my office is a good way to break the ice with a new graduate student advisee.
3. COACHE continues to do good work on family-friendly policies in the academy. Junior faculty, as they reported in a recent study, do value work/life balance and take into account balance when it comes to job satisfaction.
2. I found another good blog -- feministing.
1. I have too many meetings and too much grading to do before the Holidays!

Tips for Conferencing While Breast Feeding

My decision to conference without baby was not without logistical issues. Because I was still breast feeding (still pumping to be more accurate), I had to work through all the logistical issues with breast pumping while in a hotel and 1,000 miles from home. I began by calling the hotel to set-up refrigeration. I made sure to call weeks in advance and describe my needs so that I would be assured a refrigerator in my room upon arrival. I also discussed the need to pump with my roommate so that I did not shock her with my sci-fi pumping contraption. Easy enough!

The difficulties came when I realized that I could not/would not just dump all my hard earned breast milk down the bathroom drain. The shear thought of watching the liquid gold disappear down the drain made my want to cry. Thankfully, transporting breast milk is possible with much preparation. Here are a few tips:

Transportation of Breast Milk:

There is the option of using FedEx or UPS as a means to return the milk, but that requires dry ice, a special insulated box, and transportation to a shipping facility. All of which seems very time consuming. I opted to fly back with the breast milk which also required some additional effort and planning.

1. Visit the TSA website for the latest information on requirements for transporting breast milk. Here is the current policy that was sent to me in an email:

TSA recently modified the rules associated with taking breast milk through security checkpoints. Currently, passengers flying with or without an infant or young child may bring more than 3 ounces of breast milk (in a liquid or frozen state) into the security checkpoint. The breast milk must be declared to the Transportation Security Officer prior to entering the screening checkpoint and be separated from other liquids, gels, and aerosols.

Although TSA does not specifically limit the amount of breast milk or other items a passenger may bring in their carry-on bags, we encourage travelers to be practical about these amounts. The amount should be reasonable and also be consistent with the traveler's itinerary. Security Officers have discretion in determining whether the amount of breast milk and other items carried by an individual constitutes a "reasonable amount." All passengers are encouraged to ask to speak with a supervisor at the security checkpoint if they have any questions or concerns with these procedures.

2. Secure an insulated bag with frozen inserts to keep the breast milk frozen/cold during the duration of the trip. Lansinoh bags have a double zipper seal to prevent leaks. I am not a fan of the bags, but they came in handy when I had a lot of breast milk and a little storage bag.

3. Decide if you want the breast milk to go through the X-ray. From what I gather, it is safe to X-ray breast milk.

4. Give yourself plenty of time to get through airport security just in case there is a problem. Also, bring documentation to inform the TSA folks if they question that amount or the TSA policy. I had an email from TSA in hand and a chart of how much breast milk a child consumes in one day. Therefore, I could show them that my breast milk was a "reasonable quantity" given my travel itinerary.

Conferencing After Baby

Conferences have always been a welcome respite from the pattern of faculty work. I look forward to those extended conference weekends away to see colleagues and friends from around the country, to become entrenched in scholarship, and to network with new colleagues. The receptions, presentations, conversations are invigorating. Life with baby is different and thus conferencing would also change.

The initial concerns about going away to a conference without baby were more logistic such as how would I bring back pumped breast milk and how was my husband going to handle the night feedings (he does not currently get up for those)? I also asked myself, would Mack experience separation anxiety? Would she sleep and eat? How would I feel about being away from her? Additionally, I worried about my own emotional well-bring since I am not used to being away from baby overnight.

My first attempt at conferencing without baby went very well. Mack did not have any separation anxiety issues, my husband did a wonderful job caring for her every need, and I successfully accomplished all my conference goals, presenting, etc. BUT, there was still this nagging feeling while I was away. I couldn't help but feel as if something was fundamentally missing, as if one of my arms was left at home. I was mentally and physically "off" and I yearned to return home. The trip home was a rush to get back to her, to hold her in my arms and feel complete again.

I did not and would not bring Mack to a conference since I am attempting to "start as I plan to go" which means that I want to establish certain patterns from the very beginning of her life. Mom (and Dad) will continue to go to 2-3 conferences each year for the rest of her life. She needs to be okay with us being away. I have a feeling, however, that my conferences will not be as joyful nor will I want to linger. I will need to hurry home to feel whole once again.

Mack Monday

In order to create some sort of organization with this blog and to prompt me to be a more consistent blogger, I have devised a weekly schedule with a theme for each day. Monday is Mack Monday. Mack is short for Mackenzie, my daughter. This is my day to brag about her cuteness. I am shameless. Here is Mack: