Could not be more true

When I talk to other academic parents and when I read articles/books on the topic of academic parenthood, a similar theme emerges -- academic parents are overburdened. We have a list of tasks that is too long, commitments and deadlines that we can't possibly fulfill, and unexpected delays (sicks children, etc.). What we often don't discuss is how this juggling act makes us feel and how we desperately try to cope with all the demands. Drama Mama said it best:

From the outside, it sometimes seems we (academic moms) are masters of
scheduling, parenting and career but from the inside it seems every moment is
wracked with doubt and panic over each small decision.

I know that I often appear as if I have it all under control and I even hear students tell me that I am "doing it all." What I don't reveal is that I am always worried, obsessing over decisions, and just hoping that I am not making any big and long lasting mistakes.

The Elusive Nature of Balance

A few years ago, I helped to conduct a seminar for new education faculty and graduate students on work/lfe balance. I have never thought of myself as one who is an expert or even has a sense of balance, but I thought that it would be appropriate to attempt to engage a group in a discussion of what we/they consider balance. We decided that balance is: 1) individually defined; 2) requires one to be realistic about how time is spent (filling out a time schedule is one method); 3) requires discipline and the ability to say "no" to extra work assignments; and 4) does not seem aligned with the expectations for tenure and promotion. In fact, the boundaryless nature of academic work creates a situation in which balance appears to be an oxymoron.

As I reflect on that pre-child discussion as well as subsequent attempts at balance, I feel as if balance is now more elusive. When I am juggling teaching, research, student dissertations, national service, chores around the house, parenting, and trying to maintain my relationships with my partner, friends, and family (my list could go on), I am not sure that I can have balance. What is balance now that I have added the additional all-encompassing role of parenting? If faculty work and parenting are both boundaryless, how can one manage to find balance? Should tenure-track faculty be concerned with balance? Does that happen after tenure?

Alternative music for children

In addition to blogging about issues as an academic parent on the tenure-track, I will also be adding information on useful, neat, and non-mainstream websites. Occasionally, I may also add reviews of books. Here is a website that transforms rock music into lullabies:

http://www.rockabyebabymusic.com/web/page.asp

My daughter loves the Coldplay album!

New Job

Over the course of the last week, my partner and I moved from one area of the state to another because we both accepted new tenure-track jobs. The job move was necessitated by the fact that we have been living apart for the last two years as we tried to find a way to solve the dual academic career problem.

To begin the process of integrating into my new work environment, I went for my benefits appointment and among the many papers was a sheet that outlined the FMLA policy for my new institution. Drum roll please.......I am entitled to 12 weeks of unpaid leave.

The irony is that my new place of employment was just noted as one of the Great Colleges to Work For. This survey conducted by The Chronicle of Higher Education notes work/life balance as one of the benchmarks for whether or not a university is considered a great place to work. I have to wonder how an institution that offers the bare minimum in family and medical leave is considered among the 3,000 plus colleges and universities as a great place to work?

Survey on Sleep

One of my favorite blogs, Ph.D. in Parenting, has a post about a new survey on mothers and sleep. Hopefully, this survey will help shed light on the impact of breastfeeding on sleep patterns and dispel the myth that breastfed babies can and do sleep through the night. If you have a child under 12 months of age, take a few minutes to fill out the survey.

Who Needs Sleep?!?!

My daughter was born almost four months ago. Before her birth I was a self-proclaimed sleep fanatic. I would happily get about 9 hours of sleep a night and wake-up to a large cup of caffeinated coffee, leading to a productive day of work. Now, I only dream (when I actually get REM sleep) of 9 hours. Most nights my schedule is as follows:

7:00pm Daughter goes to bed
9:30pm Cluster feed her
12:30am First night feed
3:30am Second night feed
6:00am Daughter wakes-up

The biggest issue is not the total time which is about 8.5 hours, but the short interval (usually about 2.5 hours) between each feed and the fact that I can't drink a lot of caffeine. I am a less productive writer, both in terms of the number of pages and efficiency/productivity during my writing time. I do worry that this will hurt my overall productivity as perceived by those who evaluate my tenure portfolio, but I don't see any way of getting more sleep.

Sleep is overrated, right?

Know Your Rights!

While the institutions highlighted in the post on family-friendly policies are impressive and serve as important resources when considering implementing or changing your institutions policies OR when going on the job market, most institutions are just beginning to consider work-life balance issues. Most institutions (although certainly not all) have a "stop the tenure clock" policy but have yet to consider childcare assistance, leave to care for elderly parents, part-time tenure-track appointments etc.

What likely happens in the case of a tenure-track faculty having a child is that the decisions for accommodations are made by one or two individuals, such as department chairs or deans. I am reminded of a woman who was instructed to go to the dean because he/she had all the decision-making power for all accommodations. My institution only had a "stop the tenure clock" policy and did not provide any additional services nor was my department chair proactive in helping me devise an individualized plan.

The only way, as far as I can tell, to get certain accommodations is to know your rights. Here is what I found and suggest:

1. Every higher education institution must adhere to the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) which provides a minimum of 12 weeks off unpaid. Hopefully, your institution provides the 6 weeks off paid (at least).
2. Faculty handbooks outline all the policies for taking leaves -- read it! You should find information about the process for taking a year off the tenure track, for example.
3. Contact human resources if you are worried about talking about your rights with the department chair. Also, HR can provide information about medical insurance.
4. Use networks around the campus to see what other departments/colleges/universities offer. There is no shame in using the competitive spirit of a department or college for your advantage.

Family-Friendly Policies

The development of family-friendly policies has become a concern for institutions of higher education due to the rise of women faculty who enter academe during childbearing years and increased competition for high quality faculty. Primarily prompted by external grant agencies, such as the Sloan Foundation, several colleges and universities have developed very progressive family-friendly policies. As tenure-track faculty, it is important to know about these policies so that we can evaluate universities in which we are applying, to examine the practices/policies at our current institutions, and, most importantly, in order to know what we need to advocate for when we find ourselves in need of such accommodations.

Here is a list of just some of the more progressive family-friendly policies/practices:

The Duke Child Care Partnership increases the number of high quality child care spaces available in the community and provides priority placement for Duke families at participating centers.
http://www.hr.duke.edu/dccp/

The Campus Child Care Homes Network at the University of Michigan is a university-supported network of independent, state-licensed child care homes.
http://hr.umich.edu/worklife/childcare/homesnetwork.php

Working at IOWA (WAI) is a campus-wide survey assessing engagement among faculty and staff. WAI seeks to better understand the strengths of the University as an employer, celebrate successes, and continue to commit to the effort of improving the workplace culture.
http://www.uiowa.edu/hr/working/index.html

The UC Faculty Family Friendly Edge is an initiative designed to develop and implement a comprehensive package of innovative work-family policies and programs for ladder-rank faculty in the UC system.
http://ucfamilyedge.berkeley.edu/ucfamilyfriendlyedge.html

The Breastfeeding Support Program at the University of California Davis provides breastfeeding moms a place to express milk during their work or school day.
http://www.hr.ucdavis.edu/Work_Life/Life/breastfeed/breastfeed

Lehigh University Work/Life Balance Research Grants are small ($6,000) one-time grants that are awarded to help untenured faculty members sustain research productivity while caring for the child, or other family member.
http://www.lehigh.edu/~insloan/researchgrants.html


Thanks to my friend Margaret for helping with this list!

A few ways my school is succeeding

It's easy to focus on the ways new parents in academe are not supported, because by and large we are not. But I want to give some kudos to my dean and school, where the following accommodations have been made for me and others, and also begin a larger conversation about what we DO have working on our side at different institutions.

1. I was due to give birth in April, toward the end of our spring semester, so I was allowed to pick someone with whom to co-teach and that person subsequently took over my course when I went on leave (and earned my undying devotion - especially because I ended up going on leave and delivering my son a month early ...).
2. Our school recently moved into a new building, and my dean made sure there were family restrooms and a lactation room built into the plans. Did I use the lactation room when I returned to campus last semester? No, I used my office. But it was there - and sent a clear message about my school's values.
3. I have been allowed to phone in to meetings on days when I do not have childcare, and this has worked well for me even though it has meant that I rarely see some of my colleagues who only come to campus on the days I don't. I know for sure that my administration supports my ability to call in when I can't be there. It's better than not participating in committees or task forces at all, right? However, let me temper my enthusiasm for this practice with a dose of candor: No child under the age of 3 is going to behave while you are on the phone. In fact, my son seems to know when my phone call is work-related because he saves his best monkey screams just for the occasion. So while phoning in can work, it can also be stressful and embarrassing. I made sure that the two times I was phoning in to dissertation defenses, both were during his nap time.

Taking your child to the academic workplace

About a year ago, one of my female colleagues at my former institution of employment had a child and, on occasion, needed to bring her child into the office to complete a few quick administrative tasks or pick-up some items from her office. Much to my surprise (and the surprise of the other parents in the building), she was reprimanded and told that children, especially infants, are not allowed in faculty offices. Infants in the workplace were considered unprofessional and her close proximity to the Dean's office (the Dean of the College of Education) made it especially problematic, according to the letter that she received.

I was reading a People magazine (I'll admit that this is one of my guilty pleasures) the other day while I was getting my haircut and I came across an article that described the new corporate phenomenon of bringing your infant to work. The article explained that several companies are piloting programs where workers are able to bring in their child and a crib into work, resulting in shorter maternity/paternity leaves, more productive parents, and a happier work environment. After all, who could be grumpy with a baby around. My immediate response was to praise these companies for bridging the gap between work and family and promoting young children in the workplace, contrary to the Dean's reaction to my colleague's behavior. Now, I am starting to ask questions about whether or not this practice perpetuates a system that values work over appropriate maternity/paternity leaves (I'll be posting soon about the issues with a 6 week leave). Are companies telling workers to return to work regardless of the health of the family? And, is this a practice that is healthy for the child?

On Being a Good Role Model

Being on the tenure-track feels like a precarious time to have a child. I had many different questions and concerns: would my colleagues think that I would not be productive after giving birth? will my department chair be supportive? will my dissertating students think that I won't have time to help them? how will I handle the last four weeks of classes (I was due to give birth at the end of March)? is there anyone to substitute for me? how will my students react when my body start to grow? how will I be productive with a small child? how will I meet my deadlines? and, will my writing collaborators be disappointed?

In all of these questions (and there were many more than the ones listed here), I forgot one very important one: how will I be a good role model for my students who may be interested in having a child on the tenure track? I am reminded of this crucial, yet forgotten question, when a student sent me an email explaining that she wanted to have lunch with me because I was doing it all -- I had a successful academic career and a child. After we met and learned more about her observations of my behavior, I realized that my big mistake was coming back to teaching 10 days after giving birth. I made light of my pain, exhaustion, and desire to be at home with my infant. I had made it seem as if it was the norm to prioritize work even after giving birth and I modeled what appeared to be the traits of a successful academic. I sent the wrong message. If I could turn back the clock, I would of demanded 6 weeks of maternity leave and shown my students that a successful academic mother challenges the system to provide accommodations for those women and men who have or adopt a child during the academic year. I would role model activism and balance.

Top five challenges on my path to becoming a tenured mom

There are so many books to read about motherhood - even books about balancing parenthood and worklife. But I have found nothing about how to balance parenting and academic life. So I join Jaime here to continue this important conversation, and thank her for taking up this work.

About me: I am going into my fifth untenured year at a major RII institution in California and I have one 15 month-old child.

Here are the top five challenges I have faced since pregnancy:
1. I am (I'm pretty sure) the youngest professor in my school, and I am the youngest prof on the tenure track. Other untenured profs in my school have had children, but this year alone three have left for different reasons. I am one of two untenured professors with a small child (like less than 2 years). I have lots of support from different places, but no role models for how to do what I'm doing. And my administration is learning as it goes.
2. Most of my role models in academe either do not have children or have grown children. So even the people I look to for guidance cannot help me, really. They either got tenure after their kids were off to school or they never had children. What I have learned since my son was born is that unless you have a child of your own you cannot - despite loads of perfectly well intentioned empathy - really understand.
3. I sustained a wrist injury during my son's delivery that forced me to take a year off the tenure clock in addition to maternity leave. This I'm sure resulted in waning confidence in my abilities, even though I managed (with a lot of help) still to publish during that time.
4. Gone are the days when I could write for 8-hour stretches whenever I wanted. Now I have to write when my son is asleep, and given that he's a fitful sleeper anyway and has been since birth, I am exhausted and stretched very thin. We have considered hiring help for me to establish a "writing day" this fall but given the economy and that we live in a very expensive city halfway on a faculty member's salary, things are tight and I am forced to be creative with my time and resources. This has put stress on my relationships and has forced me to choose at many points between sleep and publication.
5. To my family and friends it often looks like I don't work a full-time job because I am not in an office somewhere five days a week, 8 hours per day. But I do work full time, even if some of that time is spent at home. Thus, I don't get as much sympathy from my family or assistance from my husband because it looks like I have time on my side, when in actuality I don't. If I do my job well it cannot fit into a 40-hour week, ever.

Do any of these challenges resonate with you, reader? I look forward to engaging on these and other points.