On Being a Good Role Model

Being on the tenure-track feels like a precarious time to have a child. I had many different questions and concerns: would my colleagues think that I would not be productive after giving birth? will my department chair be supportive? will my dissertating students think that I won't have time to help them? how will I handle the last four weeks of classes (I was due to give birth at the end of March)? is there anyone to substitute for me? how will my students react when my body start to grow? how will I be productive with a small child? how will I meet my deadlines? and, will my writing collaborators be disappointed?

In all of these questions (and there were many more than the ones listed here), I forgot one very important one: how will I be a good role model for my students who may be interested in having a child on the tenure track? I am reminded of this crucial, yet forgotten question, when a student sent me an email explaining that she wanted to have lunch with me because I was doing it all -- I had a successful academic career and a child. After we met and learned more about her observations of my behavior, I realized that my big mistake was coming back to teaching 10 days after giving birth. I made light of my pain, exhaustion, and desire to be at home with my infant. I had made it seem as if it was the norm to prioritize work even after giving birth and I modeled what appeared to be the traits of a successful academic. I sent the wrong message. If I could turn back the clock, I would of demanded 6 weeks of maternity leave and shown my students that a successful academic mother challenges the system to provide accommodations for those women and men who have or adopt a child during the academic year. I would role model activism and balance.