Friday, July 25, 2008

The Elusive Nature of Balance

A few years ago, I helped to conduct a seminar for new education faculty and graduate students on work/lfe balance. I have never thought of myself as one who is an expert or even has a sense of balance, but I thought that it would be appropriate to attempt to engage a group in a discussion of what we/they consider balance. We decided that balance is: 1) individually defined; 2) requires one to be realistic about how time is spent (filling out a time schedule is one method); 3) requires discipline and the ability to say "no" to extra work assignments; and 4) does not seem aligned with the expectations for tenure and promotion. In fact, the boundaryless nature of academic work creates a situation in which balance appears to be an oxymoron.

As I reflect on that pre-child discussion as well as subsequent attempts at balance, I feel as if balance is now more elusive. When I am juggling teaching, research, student dissertations, national service, chores around the house, parenting, and trying to maintain my relationships with my partner, friends, and family (my list could go on), I am not sure that I can have balance. What is balance now that I have added the additional all-encompassing role of parenting? If faculty work and parenting are both boundaryless, how can one manage to find balance? Should tenure-track faculty be concerned with balance? Does that happen after tenure?

5 comments:

Libby said...

I don't think you can achieve balance on your own. Household chores are shared, for example, or (in my house) simply go undone. Some kinds of service may drop off for a while, pre-tenure (your department should be protecting you here). I'm not sure I've ever achieved balance, but I do let a lot slide, and I'm perhaps slower at other things than I used to be. So far I can live with that--I hope you can find a balance that works for you!

Athena is a ... said...

I think your point about the boundarylessness of both academic life and parenting is spot on, Jaime. I've given up on balance; what I have instead are some good days, where it seems like all the balls are in the air, and some horrific days where I've disappointed colleagues, annoyed my family, failed to please my child, and also failed to take care of myself. So many people keep telling me how easy things will be after tenure - like it's this paradise you reach after living in purgatory for 7 years. I'm afraid to build it up too much in my mind ... but I can only assume that with tenure, with an older child, and with some semblance of control over my surroundings (none of which I have now) life will seem easier even if it's not.

Jaime said...

Libby, I agree that balance may not be something that is achievable which makes me more upset that we are constantly hearing how we need to find balance. It feels like yet another goal to achieve.

Dr. Mary said...

Hi All- I have struggled with balance my whole academic/family life and have gone from feeling like its an impossibility to reframing balance as a continuum. I recently blogged about it, and I'd love to see what you think about it and if any of it rings true for you: http://powerfulmindcoaching.com/2008/06/the-myth-of-balance/. Other posts deal with my struggles with this too. Thanks for discussing it in a great post.

Mary

Jaime said...

Dr. MCR, well said! In my experience, most academics (and graduate students)are too hard on themselves. I guess that is what drove us to be successful in this profession. The other day, my father told me that, "I was trying to be super-woman." He was trying to be complimentary, but I felt terrible because I don't want to be super-woman, I would rather have balance. So, I am going to take your advice and try to have some perspective.