Theme Week: Should I Have a Child on the Tenure-Track

As I mentioned previously, I am hosting a few theme weeks and this week I asked a few colleagues to answer the question, "Should I have a child on the tenure-track?" I was purposefully vague in hopes that we would get some diverse responses that would characterize the myriad of reasons why academics make this important decision while also pursuing tenure. Here is the first post from a colleague who has several children -- one who should be born any day now!

Jaime asked me to respond to a question of relevance to readers of this blog…Should you have a child while on the tenure track? I’m the mother of three children. My first two were born while I was in graduate school. My last child was born halfway through my tenure-track employment. I struggled with how best to answer the question, to be quite honest. But the answer, ultimately, is an easy one for me. I am not willing to postpone my personal desires to order to fulfill my professional ones. It is not my choice to have children that is flawed, but rather the profession in which I have chosen to have a career.

A few of the thoughts I had before arriving at this statement:

1. I refuse to look at the issue of having children as an either-or. It is common knowledge that female faculty enter “childbearing years” that coincide with tenure-earning ones. I do not have any expectation that the academy will change to accommodate me; therefore, I’m not waiting for it to do so.
2. Female academics are not the only professional women challenged by the need to balance career and family. I try very hard to concentrate on the positives that this job offers me in terms of flexibility. I work hard at what I do, and I also work hard to accommodate the need for service to the department, institution, etc. I network with senior faculty and am on campus on a regular basis. But my research and writing time is accomplished on my own schedule.
3. I have a very supportive partner. Even though he is not an academic, he also works in a demanding (but flexible) career. There are moments when I would rather be writing, but he needs the time as well. It is a give-and-take, and is the only way I can see making it all work.
4. While I have never hidden the fact that I’m a parent, and adore my children, I also don’t bring them to work with me. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. But ever since graduate school, I have tried to separate my home life from my professional life. We go to campus (usually on the weekends) to ride bikes or visit the library, but not while Mommy is “at work.”
5. Having children, for me, has meant my productivity is not the same as others. I have colleagues without children who seem to be publishing and grant-writing gurus. (In the spirit of honesty, there are also those colleagues with children who are also gurus.) I set realistic goals for myself, force myself to meet them, and have worked to ensure that those goals are in alignment with institutional expectations.
6. Young children are demanding in a way that older children are not. My oldest is much more independent, which in turn allows me more “work time.” I try to treasure the time demanded by young children…because you blink and they are in elementary school.
7. I don’t care what other people think about my choice to be a parent. This is my life, not theirs. I have to work on this one quite often, to be honest. It hurt when my graduate school advisor had nasty things to say about my choice to have child #2. But at the end of the day, I fully subscribe to the “you only go around once” philosophy. Your kids are only young once. The chance to be a parent and build the kind of life I want is something I refuse to set aside to fulfill the expectations of others.